Animal House: When boys humiliate girls at school

This article about "when boys humiliate girls" only begins to scratch the surface of the matters, any of which could be a whole volume:

• We socially tolerate the idea that: Boys will Be Boys
• "It's like Animal House Movies: boys will all try to be sexually aggressive to girls without consent"
• "It's a right of passage: denigrating girls, women
• It's a right of passage: boys getting girls drunk to rape
• "Drinking, daily and weekends to heavy intoxication of a 16 year old boy (in a recent Senate Hearing, Judge Kavanaugh reminded us that the drinking age of his time was 16, times of which he was heavily drunk and could not remember), an 18 year old, a 20 year old: is just a stage".  Abuse of alcohol and it's use for escapism or social inclusion is a serious drinking problem. 

Opinion: Animal House Movies remain studies of rebellion, growing up, and countering the culture of a time (the whole National Lampooning of a nation). Rebellion and Lampooning are not the problem. 

But, how can we examine these movies and pick out the White Male Entitlement:
that superiority over women, and the taking of non-consentual and drunk sex?
What would a socially lampooning movie look like without this humiliation of women? Don't throw away your Animal House and Revenge of the Nerds movies, but watch, examine and question: when is drinking a part of escapism or use to take advantage of others. When is Entitled Male behavior encouraged by society, as we support the "anti-heroes". Humor and Parody are good: male entitlement and denigration of women is not good. 

or worse:

• Girls must be humiliated, or drugged into giving me my first sex experiences
• Girls bring it on. It's their fault, the seduction and the creating of the event where we had sex in the room.
• She could have said no.
• Guys all know if she said "no", that "no means yes"
• I only rubbed my groin against her, so how could she feel violated, trapped, choking, etc.?

And, ultimately,

• Silly Girls
• Stupid Girls
• Don't be a Girl
• Girls can't
• Girls don't
• Girls  are weak
• Girls are

as heard at any schoolyard......all the way up to the boys coach, "OK, Girls, so you think can play football?"

This humiliation of others by humiliating girls is still rampant:

• 1. it asserts the historical and abusive White Male Entitlement concept
• 2. it supports superiority of one over another
• 3. and that results in the denigration of women Socially: repression of rights, entitlement, job pay, opportunities, etc. 
• 4. and that results in a society of men that feel justified in psychopathic and narcissistic taking from others: 

1. I'm better, and it's reinforced to me by society
2. I deserve and am entitled, I am a part of a culture and society of Male Narcissism and Psychopathic Abuse
3. You're lesser
4. You deserve to be humiliated, punished, reminded and convinced / conned that you're less, and treated as a lesser "creature"
5. I take directly from you (rights, jobs, status, esteem, possessions, children, sexuality), or indirectly via the Gaslight Con
6. If a group of others observe my taking from a "girl", I can fall back on Social Tolerance of the false notion "Boys will Be Boys"

White Male Entitlement in all it's forms ultimately impacts at least 80% of American Society, because those lesser includes

• girls
• women
• gays, lesbians, transgenders
• Asians
• Blacks
• immigrants, legal or illegal
• the elderly

Do you know a boy, man, or even a school track sports coach doing this? Psychologically, we know that negative references are ultimately not motivating. But, if one must give that coaches' "firing up speech" what words other than girl, ladies, or women could be used to refer your team or their team?  That I leave to you, but we know the military has been able to eliminate this abusive and humiliating language of women, gays, and transgender. If you're a coach, you owe it to your youth to explain how to "reject humiliation of others".  Why not even try to go further, and teach respect for all, and humiliation for none, including humiliation of others and one self?

If you're not sure how to do this among your peers, friends, or colleagues, simply ask the question of "How do we...?
What alternatives are there...?
When do we....?


Zen Phrase: in asking the question we have 90% of the solution.


(CNN)The #MeToo reckoning is still coming — not just for the prominent men who use their power to exploit others, but also for the boys they once were. We are recognizing, finally, that misogynist men are made, not born.

The task, now, is to interrupt the making.
by
Jill Filipovic




As he seeks confirmation to the US Supreme Court, Brett Kavanaugh has taken great pains to paint himself as a champion of women and girls, a strategy employed to undercut Democratic assertions that he would overturn Roe v. Wade.
Then came an allegation of sexual assault while Kavanaugh was a student at Georgetown Prep high school, made by Christine Blasey Ford, who attended a neighboring school. Then another allegation that Kavanaugh pushed his penis in the face of a classmate at Yale. He vigorously denies both accusations.



and.....

In a more feminist world, such casual misogynist cruelty would be rare. But anyone who has passed through high school knows that the language employed by Kavanaugh and crew is indeed quite typical of teenage "boys just being boys." And that's exactly the problem: Teenage boyhood continues to accept, sometimes even hinge on, misogyny and ill treatment of girls — usually girls over whom boys have relative social power.
Then we wonder why those same boys become the men who mistreat women, discriminate against us in the workplace, or look the other way when other men harass, bully or abuse us.
It can be jarring to realize just how deep misogyny goes. Renate Schroeder Dolphin, who was the butt of Kavanaugh and friends' "alumni" joke, previously had signed a letter of support for him, proclaiming his respect for women when she knew him in high school.
She told the New York Times she was not aware of the yearbook reference when she signed the letter and said in a statement that the "insinuation is horrible, hurtful and simply untrue."
Mitch McConnell guarantees a vote on Kavanaugh


To add insult to injury, Kavanaugh's lawyers claim that the yearbook entries don't mean what we all know they mean. Instead, they insist, the "Renate Alumnius" jokes were reflective of a deep respect for Renate, and only indicated that she had gone to dances and events with Kavanaugh and his friends.
("Judge Kavanaugh and Ms. Dolphin attended one high school event together and shared a brief kiss good night following that event," his lawyers' statement reads. Dolphin denied this through her lawyer: "Brett must have me confused with someone else, because I never kissed him.")
Everyone can see that Kavanaugh's denials are obvious BS, because we all know teenage boys don't make in-group sexualized jokes about women they respect. We viscerally know what "Renate Alumnius" means because we are collectively fluent, after long experience, in the subtle language of misogyny.
And we also know how it feels to have our fluency in that language denied. When women identify disrespect or demand better treatment, we are often the ones who are punished, or told that our version of events doesn't reflect reality. The denials from Kavanaugh's lawyers are practically Trumpian: Yes, it says what it says and we all know what that means, but you can't believe your lyin' eyes.
Kavanaugh on days at Georgetown Prep

But this dishonest defense of entitlement, this propping up from an early age of the male version, doesn't work as well as it used to.

rest of story:


https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/25/opinions/boys-humiliating-girls-at-school-kavanaugh-filipovic/index.html