Humiliation is how the bully increases the image of their own value (grandiose self worth), and decreases the image of your worth. You are dehumanized. They feel you're less than cattle, they send this message to you, and you sense this. You may recognize this, OR you may, because you've been bullied before feel this or experience this as a less-than-conscious level: we feel something dull in our stomach, bend our back over, and look down......it's that old bullied feeling. Somewhere in our mind AND brain, we experience something that is more feeling oriented though profound. We may not be able to put our finger on just what it is, but it envelops us in that old dark cloud we've felt before.
From Thesuarus.com
Humiliation
Here is part 2 of this article: Breaking the Humiliation Trance
Please be sure to click on the left for the 5 short videos from PBS on the process of dehumanization by people and groups: how good people can become bullies....and even justify humiliating or killing others.
Using Humiliation: Dehumanizing You
confusion
degradation
disgrace
ignominy
indignity
shame
abasement
affront
chagrin
comedown
condescension
discomfiture
dishonor
mortification
put-down
resignation
self-abasement
submission
submissiveness
humbling
loss of face
mental pain
touché
If any of these words strike a cord with you, go to this link and click on that word for more similar synonyms.
https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/humiliation
Here is a short video on the Dehumanizing act of the bully that is HUMILIATION
Click here:
You are less than "a cattle", these disturbing images are used about cattle, because the humiliation of your soul, worth, and humanity IS disturbing: it is violent, debasing, and death is intended by the bully (emotional, psychological, and psychic death pleases them...)
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| debasement and dehumanizing of people by bullies: you are less than cattle in a feedlot to slaughter |
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| Hmm, it looks like only burger and dollars to me. Grandiose bullies |
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| Who cares? I don't. Bullies |
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| you are just a number, one of the mass of lessers |
and I am: King, Better, Superior,
"I am the least racist person you'll ever know", Trump.
This is symbolic of megalomaniacs from any time and any culture, including conquerors of all indigenous and developed civilizations of the Americas (South, Central, and North), and any current megalomaniac. Today, there are many worldwide. But, bullies exist in all small subgroups: they reside at our schools, neighborhoods, churches, and work!
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| If there are lessers, then slavery and bias are justifiable, as well as genocide. Gaslighters, bullies, and psychopaths |
A personal story: my brother called me a pansy and many other words as child. He'd pick words that had some negative meaning to me.....they had to work. They did.
Another personal story: I am selling some art work on Ebay. I've expected the normal problems selling things to others. What I didn't expect though was to come across a skilled Humiliator. This person got the merchandise and rather than describing the problems with the piece or recommending solutions, humiliated me personally. "Why would you, who are you......and so on.
Ultimately, this person is skilled at this, as it was done in just 4 sentences. The item was sold to the person for $1000 less than the asking price of $3600, and I paid out $600 in fees to ebay and Fedex. But, this person, I would guess is likely a frequent bully to the Ebay scene: he got a grand discount, a good buy, and not wants to bully some more to get $100 back, $200 back, or even up to $400 (it's likely he wants to post-sale intimidate me down to his first asking price, $1600.
This is a skilled person. I would imagine that this individual is not buying this for himself, but has a knowledge of the Copper Statue market, and plans to resell for many thousands more. But, the method used it intimidation by personalizing me: the story is about my character and not the art object.
This is a good reminder for me: as I travel overseas where bartering is common, I want to avoid the methods employed by Americans: not being skilled in barter, most might head toward personal humiliation: why would YOU charge this much, who do you think you are, and so on. And, Americans walk away as others might, but I know there is an evil eye we give the vendor of that "who do you think you are, I'll find a better, nicer, more moral vendor than you. It's personal.
Instead, I intend to write myself a note and laminate it for travel:
keep bartering object oriented, and be a moral person: affirm the person, attack only the price!
I think I have fallen into this these days, where I would not have before: you're dealing the sales person at Amazon.com and they're immovable on an item that they sold but came from a private vendor and won't help (for instance, it came with no instructions to build, as a recent purchase of mine of a bench drill press). It took several hours to construct, and at that time, Amazon did not take shipping free returns from their private vendors (I think they do now). So, I have been left with only humiliation with an employee: who do you think you are, why would Amazon.com do this??
I've been left with dead end matters with that company, Cable One Internet, Sprint, and others, and then have, I admit, become the bully of this article: a bully of dehumanizing in an attempt to get help.
Of course, I know rationally that it will take Amazon hundreds of thousands of complaints to change some policy, which doesn't help me now. And, that person on the end of the line is some poor employee: it could be me in that position getting crapped on.
The problem is this, and it's a biggy: we become the bully we hate. We use their method of personal humiliation and attack because it was modelled and done to us.....We become the monster we hate.
an old cartoon, Pogo, said; "We have met the enemy, and he is us."
So, as a personal reminder, I'm also going to put up a laminated card in the kitchen as a reminder: attack the price, the problem, or process, then drop it mentally and on the phone....leave it...... Or else we become what was done to us: we "act out" in ways modeled and done to us by the bully.
My two cards:
in the suitcase:
Barter on price, the item, and don't humiliate in person or in walking away. Be that moral person you think you are. Don't be the ugly American bully.
in the kitchen:
Deal with the price, item, process. If you don't make headway with the supervisor, drop it walk away mentally. It all comes out in the wash. Don't be that ugly American Bully. Rumi the poet says: what you lose will come back around in another way, though it may take time and come our of left field.
(that last comment means, life is balanced, and Karmic with bullies around: you may not get help from Amazon.com but it will surprise you when at Walmart the manager deals better with you on a broken item, and you got back the $20 lost to Amazon.com. It could take a few months, or with devastation done by bullies, it could take a few years. Rumi also says that eventually that megalomaniac King or bully company will one day become "as a slave". That's Karma.)
see part 2 of this article, Humor, and breaking the trance.
https://gaslightattack.blogspot.com/2018/08/breaking-trance-of-humiliation-bullies.html
