5 Phrases to use?

5 Phrases to use?

Here's some advice. Now, don't use it.

Most information you find on narcissism, gaslighters, and psychopaths is wrong/flawed, weak,  even dangerous, though all the authors are well intended. They are just not educated on the pervasive danger of the Dark Disordered.


Here is a summary of this video.

This video has major flaws in concepts, I do not recommend it.  This video does credit the guile, dangers, and multi methods of the Dark Disordered.

DO NOT USE THESE: This is an invitation for the narcissist to harm, the vampire to feed again and again. 

1. I'm sorry you feel that way.
2. I can accept your faulty perception of me.
3. ....................
(I leave this one out because it's so dangerous.  It's not valid)
4. I have to accept that this is how you feel.

The author is wrong about acceptance and "love" of the narcissist.

4. assumes that not playing the game ends the problem with the narcissist. If they're in a hate or smear campaign, it will never never stop.

5. You're anger is not my responsibility.

Well, that's what the world said about Hitler until 11 million people were killed.

7 Things That Terrify Narcissists To Their Core | Conscious Reminder

summary of this video at Youtube.com

1. abandonment

This is seen as rejection of their self, you'll be punished by rage and smear campaigns

2. being made fun of

they have no humor

they may chuckle if you're harmed or fall, but it's a mocking, and not humor

jokes of them or poked fun is dangerous to do

jokes are an alluding to their inner emptiness versus their flimsy strong false image of them self: they'll destroy you to protect that image of themselves they have

3. being disrespected

4. being ingnored

they need the "narcissistic supply"

and, they like positive attention and negative attention (criticism), because it affirms they are. Ignoring does not.

5. exposure of vulnerabilities, true ones

called out. They respond with silent treatment or gaslighting

they use "flying monkeys", like on Wizard of Oz, other persons to attack you.

6. loss of the trappings of youth and success

Note: the author has several good points here. A movie that demonstrates how the narcissist becomes cranky and mean in old age is Citizen Cohn. Excellent movie on narcissistic abuse in old age. 

7. death

the anihalation of the ego, their meaning, all they are. Some may also feel they're going to hell and fear that. 

Deceptology

Deception

Deceptology

What do those two words mean?
Why is deception used?
How did narcissists and psychopaths become so associated with the deception attitude and process?
Where else beside the mental disorders do we see the use of deception?
Is there a negative and a beneficial deception?


We'll be exploring that more, so sign up to get fresh posts by email so you won't have to check the site. That'll make it easy.

for a link to more synonyms of the words you find interesting, click this link:

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/deception

• betrayalstar
• deceitstar
• disinformationstar
• duplicitystar
• falsehoodstar
• fraudstar
• hypocrisystar
• lyingstar
• mendacitystar
• treacherystar
• trickerystar

• untruthstar
• beguilementstar
• blarneystar
• boondogglestar
• cheatstar
• circumventionstar
• cozenagestar
• craftinessstar
• cunningstar
• deceitfulnessstar
• deceptivenessstar

• dirtstar
• dissimulationstar
• double-dealingstar
• duperystar
• equivocationstar
• flimflamstar
• fraudulencestar
• guilestar
• hokumstar
• impositionstar
• insinceritystar

• jugglingstar
• legerdemainstar
• pretensestar
• prevaricationstar
• sophismstar
• treasonstar
• trickinessstar
• trumperystar
• defraudationstar
• fast onestar
• snow job

Great points from this important video:


1. there is a brain addiction to them
2. healing is about you, not about imagining what the narcissist is  doing or if they love you

7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Here is your no contact order form, free:

a. they use their ego: I'm the one who decided to end it, or left. It wasn't you implementing a no contact plan

You might be pulled back in, hooked again

b. they'll contact you about random things: they need their minions, and call you with some odd or stupid question or issue to accomplish the info finding mission

This will get your head spinning, circular conversations,

Must block ALL contact.  Must stop thinking about them.

c. they may appear accountable, apologetic, or make promises: enough of this to get you back under control. It sounds believable, and they may even make token effort to go to a therapist or couples counseling. They want you to capitulate, return, the, ......back to HELL.

for the therapy or pressuring them to be vulnerable which they detest, they'll punish you without end for that

Hell: when returning, the emotional and physical violence ALWAYS increases over time.

Things get worse, not better.

Connect to your own healing: you source your love, survival, serenity, etc.

Don't connect with damaged people. Those who support

d. they'll use sympathy or guilt, your nature, to hook you back.

I'm sick.
I'm not coping without you.
My .s.s.s died
I lost my job

We return, even after having been treated abysmally. We think they'll change, but we have a life time of doing this: is has been occurring since childhood.

Narcissistic Supply: you and others. If you stay away, they'll find another.

Don't fall for it. Heal that part that is triggered, hooked.

e. they'll trigger attention from you by hurting your friends, smearing, attack, punish you, sue you, kill your dog, etc. etc.

Attacking your friends: abuse by proxy.

They still want to hurt you so much that you return.

You're the victim, target, and their dumpster for their issues.

f.  they may eventually move on and replace you with a new supply of victims, objects, items to use: other persons like you.....but then use it against you........

This may take you back into the cycle:

you're replaced
you wonder if the person is better like they say, and you're still broken
and you go crazy again.
And, they know your fears, and know how to dose this abuse to you about their new "love"


You may want to contact the new person and warn them. Don't: heal yourself.

7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Gaslighting: To make you upset, confused, angry, and doubt

Some points from this good video:

1. they seek to make you upset, confused, angry, to doubt what happened.
2. it makes you feels crazy if you recognize it
3. there is a recovery process
4. know the signs
5. while several mental disorder persons use gaslighting, narcissism is the top user
6. most gaslighters, when they want to, are charming
7. the use your insecurities, and they use it now, or in the future file it away: make later comments or pokes at you
8. they are intuitive about this: your insecurities and fears
9. ultimate goal: doubt, so they can control you
10.  they test your out even with false comments, then watch your reaction, then use that info against you
11. you've forgotten what is "normal" because of their campaign against you
12. they'll knock down your confidence
13. they "diagnose you" like a doctor, to tell you what's wrong with you, especially your sanity
called paranoid, stressed out, needs therapy, pms,
14. they don't mind hurting you, and even enjoy it
15. you doubt your own beliefs and perceptions
16. if you then question your own judgement based on "their view", you might make drastic moves like leave a spouse, job, give up and idea or hobby
17. they have selective memory: they conveniently forget bad behaviors and words
Me?
This is their denying, though likely they really do remember
18. they even portray abusing you as normal
19. they are easily angered and upset by EVERYTHING, and use that as intimidation. One might, you the victim, lie or cover things to not have this anger and abuse, though this abuse you're aware of.
20. you stop talking about yourself around the Narcissist and then eventually others: you don't know how to talk about yourself.
21. you believe the manipulation: you really are the crazy one.
wrong: you owe that person an apology. They'll use this apology against you later.
22. depression, exhaustion,
23. you feel you're overly sensitive to the issues: but instead it's happening.
They use this against you.
24. You lose sense of Self

"It didn't Happen". Daily Gaslighting

It was a story I had some history with.

When in college, I took a road trip with some friends to visit the Grand Canyon and Tucson, Arizona. It was a great and fun trip. After passing the Grand Canyon we stopped in a Northern Arizona tourist shop. There was a display of some posters that featured the Crimson Cliffs of that area. They're so magnificent. The display said on a card: how many faces can you find hidden in the cliffs.  There were some initials and numbers, the highest indicated one person saw or felt they saw 47 faces hidden.


The Red Cliffs of Sedona, Arizona.

Someday, I'll locate the original poster, from decades back.

Now, as a child, I grew up with this in the Sunday Newspaper Funnies. I always loved those sections of the large colored Sunday cartoon section that featured the "How many can you find in this picture". Hidden were a dozen rabbits in the graphic or eleven ships hidden in some backyard scene. Usually, mom, getting up early, had circled some, but always missed a couple.

So, things are hidden in photos?

for a collection of "land form faces", see:
http://astro.wsu.edu/worthey/astro/html/im-indian-heads/indian.html

 

The problem is, once you start finding faces in things, it never stops. I'm sure that facial recognition is a brain and survival mechanism in us, the primates, and cats and dogs: we are geared from day one to recognize and gravitate to faces for our survival. And, I have always seen this in my pets as they cue into my face, and particular, eyes. Kittens and puppies gravitate to their own kind, and so interesting as we evolved with these animals, the faces of humans. They see us as just as safe as their mom. That's why taking a box of your kittens to the store parking lot helps you "pass them out", because the kittens or puppies struggle to get to surrounding people.

But, then this ability for me took and odd and for me, troubling direction. Being an amateur rockhound, I had long collected the scenic or picture jaspers, where a landscape image is found in the rock.

Do you find it?

Then, I ran across a new rockhound book of jaspers and agates to add to my collection. I'd actually read the book a couple times and didn't notice, but one day it sprang out at me: hey, there's hidden faces in EACH of the 200 jaspers and agates displayed.

Then, I began to count and circle the faces. But, this was not ordinary, or a fun trick posed in a couple photos. This was massive:

each photo had dozens of very complex photos hidden in the detail of each rock. Some sort of blending or morphing of the graphics had been done, and since the photos were so small, they weren't clearly noticeable. I scoured the Internet to see if there was any documentation of this. I looked back at 20 other gem and mineral guide books, and yes, there were hidden faces, but not of this complexity:

there was a whole Mormon choir, complete with their pipe organ in the background
there were rows of cats and dogs
old pioneer scenes depicted men in a saloon and other situations
and it went on and on

I went to the library in town.  The staff were reluctant to let me talk directly with the librarian with a master's degree in library science, but I pushed my way through. She was irritated with that, and didn't respond to my inquiry for help: are there real scenes hidden here, is this a scam or prank, and does this exist in books and history. I did find that hidden images are a part of art, as both artist prank and as a way to hide secret information.

But, a whole choir, a lady sitting before a mirror?

I wrote to the author several times, and finally caught up with her on Facebook. I asked, "Did your photographer helper do this creativity?"

Well, as an author of books in a dying hobby field, she needs to keep her credibility and royalties going, so what else could she say in any response? "The faces are just inherent to the photos".

It isn't there.
It didn't happen.
You're likely making this up.
Doubt yourself.


In the meantime, the situation and books became so perplexing to me, that I threw them out. I'll get my rock and gem photos only online.....

Is there a daily gaslighting?

No, you're imaging things.