Takers / Bullies of the innocent, causing PTSD in childhood & lifelong adulthood victim roles. Being a victim / having PTSD is not a choice but accident causing damaged dulled awareness to cons and abuse. Hope exists viewing the victimization / brain damage as ever present / lifelong, managing PTSD symptom reduction, increasing consciousness / reducing stress: taking your life back. Charles K. Bunch, Phd., author 50 books at Amazon.com and retired clinical therapist.
Other articles here discussed how the Gaslighter creates a mythic image about themselves: they're dapper, sexy, sexual, rich, brilliant, strong, wonderful, loved by all.....or......
The true "house of cards" of some Gaslighters may soon fall. Some are skilled in keeping that mythic image in development.
Donald Trump, long saying he's a self-made BILLIONAIRE, had the true story revealed by the press this week: his father gave him $417 million dollars to start, and there are many other secrets now told about the father and the dirty businesses and money schemes run by Trump and his father in tandem:
You sure have an odd family. And some strong ties that are
there, mixed up with hurt and resentment and wounds. Best of luck as you
transition out of there.
Yes, sometimes I wonder why my life has so many odd elements to
it. Some days it drives my PTSD into a shut-down, but most days it’s fuel for
the fire: finding purpose and meaning. Still, the oddness is there: a single
older man, living in a fourplex, 3 units have children in the throes of the
terrible twos. Will I find purpose in?
·Some encouragement of those struggling parents?
·Find motivation to move (and, I could move to other types of
noise, but several years of this has become a bad memory, as once I lived next
to a neighbor who would not stop his dog from barking). Noise is everywhere.
·Accept using earplugs more often?
What is the meaning, purpose, and gift of life’s encounters?
You’ve told me some about your pastor father’s neglect and
abuse. Any other thoughts now?
I remember when I "got clear" with my dad. Forgive me
if I've shared all of this already. I was unemployed at the time, about 2004,
and spent a week at their house. I fixed the screen door, helped them get a
wrought iron railing on their steps, cleaned up a lot, and generally helped
out. And one night we had a conversation, and I said my piece, not in heated
anger, but in a vulnerable way. I shared how I had gone to the altar and
accepted Christ, as he had instructed. I was about in 3rd grade, and too
young to have a lot of defensive armor. Following this, alone in the parking
lot in the snow, with a crystal sky above, I experienced Unity. All was one.
There was no "me" looking "out there." The next day, I
awoke as depressed as hell. I knew completely that there was nobody who
would understand me. The church, with their endless singing about love and
preaching about God, was clueless. I was more alone than I've ever been in my
life.
I said "Dad, you always seem to thing I need saved. Well,
you weren't there for me. There were no tribal elders. There were no shamans.
You wouldn't have listened or understood me at my hour of need."
He received what I said, and was quiet. He said "I'm sorry,
I didn't know." Then he went back to his old patterns, bossing my mom
around, demanding to be waited on, watching stupid TV shows with the volume
turned up loud.
I lay down and tried to sleep, and then gathered my things and left
at 11:00 at night. A few years later, Dad was gone.
What shocked me about the process of forgiveness was how little
it changed my relationship with my father. A burden lifted from my heart. I
felt "done" and released from the spell of shame he had cast on me.
The bitterness and anger was gone, as well as the posture of seeking of
approval only to find another rejection. But Dad was a hollow shell of a man,
filled with misgivings and emotionally crippled and immature. I guess I
expected him to weep and hug me and tell me he loved me. I expected a flood of
warmth to rush in and fill up the void between us. But there was none of that.
It was me, looking at him, saying "Jesus, you're hollow. Nothing is there.
You cannot love." Acceptance of what is does not create what never was.
“G”, wow. Thanks, that final note could be a great book title: “You
can’t (fill in the blank) of what never was.
It reminds me of the mythology, myths, and mythos of the “dead
and the undead”.
a.The ghosts of the movie The Sixth Sense: while most joke about
that older movie, there’s such profound mythos in it supported by that
mythology of ghosts: they’re not malevolent in nature seeking to frighten us
with moving candlesticks or appearances. But they may be kind or malevolent in
their “having not left this world to theirs”, whatever that means.
b.There are those mythic creatures not ghosts: those refusing to
die like Zombies, Werewolves, and Vampires. These are the inter-dead, those
half-way there, but staying for malevolent purposes.
“G”, do you have more you could share? Based on A and B, is your
dad’s situation a ghost or undead? Could elaborate on
Acceptance of what is does not create what never was.
What would you tell others about dealing with their ghosts?
Could you tell me more personally, because I’m interested, in
dealing with ghosts, that thing which is but a wisp, a vapor, and discharged
with a quick flick of consciousness?
I find the experience intriguing: it’s like that old cereal,
Wheat or Rice Puffs, or a Puffed Rice Cake: nothing is there.
I think there is a whole mythology or mythos of this: when
something is not really there.
In your case, it’s not a delusional Don Quixote battle: you dad
was real, the situations happened to you and of others, and in the end; it’s a “nothing”.
Mythos or symbols of Zero that truly hurt:
The weather, a cloud
A balloon
Empty food (I see reports this week of how many families
worldwide are having to eat tree leaves to alleviate hunger: ground and moistened
to a paste, they provide not just zero nutrition, but ingest harmful tree
toxins)
Unlike a Vampire person like Trump: the threat is gone when
talked to
I have so many honest curiosities and questions about this:
Was there an empty feeling for you after, like you had years of
waiting for the apology or secretly had thoughts of revenge?
Were you, because of some situation in your family the only one
to experience this with your dad?
I've found that when I thought I had to forgive another, a violator, it was really about forgiving myself for getting involved, being naive, or other.
Tv series "Deadwood" and Nepharious Individuals: I often find parallels from this TV series characters and events and those of my own family
I failed my own advice, test, responses when confronted by a surprise Humiliation Bully. Likely this is a life vulnerability, and I'll give this some more thought. But, you must approach this all humbly: you can't perfectly handle gaslighters, bullies, narcissists, and psychopaths because they're more skilled at what they do than your detecting. Here's my letter, that concludes with both STOP NOW, and setting up the NO CONTACT ORDER. The no contact order is usually just one for you to follow secretly, but this person is next door: "we'll not contact". I have NO expectation of reconciliation because this is pathological, deeply ingrained personality illness.
September 26, 2018
Dear Neighbor Apartment Renter:
I apologize for my 93 year old dad parking in your space:
·He didn’t know it was your space
·The space you call yours is marked with a State
Handicapped parking sign, he is handicapped and has a handicapped parking
permit
·The truck was there 20 minutes
·It was moved immediately
·Your wife’s car parking was not impacted: she
arrived later
·It will not happen again
·I’ve had this happened to me a couple of times:
when the person was nicely asked to move, they did so and were very apologetic
in an instant
·You said you were having the vehicle towed,
under the “recommendation of the apartment manager’s letter”, and also had a
note on the truck window stating that. That was a threat.
·Your abusive, off the wall and over the edge,
humiliation attack proceeded for 15 minutes: it reveals symptoms
I have no concern whether you stay here 5 or 50 years.
I’ve found you an OK neighbor. I’ve extended much courtesy to you the last few
years, including on last contact loaning you a battery charger for several days
and giving you advice on testing batteries and where to buy cheaply, and
complementing the good behavior of your boys.
I know how I stand
with other tenants and the owner: I am liked and helpful. Do you know how you’re viewed? Are you sure you know the real reason the
tenant below me moved out two days after their apartment inspection?
You have a shocking manic humiliation attack, and are a
dangerous bully verbal abuser, not stopping until you’re satisfied you’ve
punished the other. Despite this, if
you have zero verbal contact with me, I have zero interest in whether you stay
here 5 years or 50 years, without any contact or interference from me. I assure you of that. But, there will not be another humiliation
bully attack: that stops now.
C.
(PhD, and author of
50 books on bipolar disorder mania, abusive personality, and bullies).
If another confrontation occurs, I'll not contact the management that has proven useless in the past with situations, but the police. And, if they discount the matter, I'll at minimum file an incident report.
So, I spent some time in mental healing and gathering myself: this event really impacted me, part of the problem being that it caught me off guard, and that I'd just written info here on Humiliation Bullies!
and, a bonus:
This is an interesting BBC series on Starlight, a fire proof substance. Can you pick up the Narcissism of this man who is it's inventor? When he talks with his daughter, what emotions do you see? I think they are clues to her likely childhood punishment by "dad".
Graft exists as worldwide today. Today's news just from the BBC and Reuters reports it's re-election time in Asia, Africa, and South America. These countries cited were all examples not of hopeful change, but of graft directing voters and outcomes. One African candidate to be re-elected and one Brazilian candidate each have 10 or more charges of political and financial corruption:
Gaslighters are associated with Graft worldwide
from Wikipedia: definition of Graft: Graft, as understood in American English, is a form of political corruption, being the unscrupulous use of a politician's authority for personal gain. The term has its origins in the medical procedure whereby tissue is removed from one location and attached to another for which it was not originally intended.
As with political psychopathy, dangerous narcissism, political graft, and gaslighting: it exists worldwide, in every nook and cranny. And, don't feel proud to be an American: since the same percentage of these mental disordered (called in our other blog the mental disorders of the "Dark Disordered: https://narcissistdonaldtrump.blogspot.com/ )
What then is graft? It is one method of Gaslight Taking from others:
In third world countries influence is bought and sold, in one manner
In first world countries, influence is bought and sold in another manner.
Just the con method changes to fit the particular group worldwide: people are promised riches and goods in one way in Brazil, and conned in another way in the US. Ultimately, this is what happens in all those situations because of the Gaslighter's psychological profile:
they win, others feel like the candidate they supported won
others who supported this candidate may win some goods, some money, some luxury. Or, they might find their industry is not unfettered to run without laws, controls, or environmental concern (mining, banking, oil, a small business, or any any concern of the average Joe).
But, in time, as with all articles here on Gaslighters, it is the Gaslighting of the Con Artists:
something is taken from you
you may seem to have benefited for a while, and that while could be a couple of years or a decade
But, ultimately, who sits in the mansions, goes to Paris and Asian Casinos monthly, and is found in airports with suitcases of US Dollar Bills?
One thinks they're included in the deal, but after the Gaslighter has a couple of parties, for most on a yacht, you find you've never been invited inside their mansions, which are kept private. The mansion of privacy, must be kept private, because they hold what was stolen and the money that bought:
gold bars
jewelry of types not seen by the person on the street
car collections or collection of any type
unusual animals kept in the wealthy's "menagerie"
clothes filling great halls: with price tags like the average person's new Ford Explorer
trophies of any sort, be it ivory, animals, social awards, gifts from countries, gemstones, collections of fossils: things traded on the black market and sold for millions, many stole from public venues
private art, hand made furniture and furnishings
ETC.
The key is:
you think you're going to be included: you're not
Always, this gaslight corruption attack is sold as two-pronged:
1. you're going to get the goodies so support me
2. the other group is evil, less, sinful, non-Christian (or, if in a different locale, non-Hindu, non-Muslim, etc.). They are lesser, have evil intent, are cheap thieves, and deserve the punishment of life which includes being marginalized, ostracizes, not included, and living in their own poverty. They further deserve to be ignored and forgotten.....
As an example of this, just today (and again, as an American, I cringe at how I may be being conned in ways I can't see here in the US, as gaslighting is universal):
The nation’s currency and equity markets have increasingly rallied in lock-step with favorable poll numbers for Bolsonaro, a firebrand congressman better known for his broadsides against gays and Afro-Brazilians than his embrace of free markets. Over a 27-year legislative career, Bolsonaro has voted repeatedly to preserve state-owned monopolies
Brazil: but not backing him: elderly, employees, teachers, educators, women, non-Christians, Indigenous, gays, and more!
Bolsonaro: Courting the evangelical Christian right as with Trump. But, who is left out?
Bolsonaro: anti women and anti gay views. Sound familiar???
Bolsonaro: if a political psychopath is every accused of taking, be assured they took, and more than claimed, because that is how Gaslighters work
this is the story of Ronald Reagan: good for business, dangerous to nonwhite Christians and any social values....
a very dangerous man, who conned us by his nice presence as a soft actor, and then only in 20 years did we see the impact of his deregulations that benefited business, but hurt society:
he lined the supreme court with conservatives
passed business protections that allowed them to harm consumers
reduced eco protections
and promoted a christian agenda: brought controls to Hollywood movies
This story is similar to that of Ronald Reagan: good for business, dangerous to
non-white
non-Christians
free thinkers, liberals
the general consumer: his de-regulations of industries lead to the corruption of Wall Street and the greed of the US Banks, which ultimately resulted in the collapse of Pensions, Unions, Wages, Social Programs.
He was a very skilled con but a dangerous man, who fooled us by his nice presence as a soft actor and gentle dapper John Wayne type. Only in 20 years did we see the impact of his deregulations that benefited business, but hurt society:
he lined the supreme court with conservatives
passed business protections that allowed them to harm consumers
reduced eco protections in order to promote business
and promoted a Christian agenda: brought controls to Hollywood movies and denounced free thinkers
he denounced social obligations and concerns: and many suffer these days due to this, as individual lives and cities decay
Today, we still are confused with his gentle, stuttering, but misdirecting intent. How could such a nice man not have the citizen's intent in mind? That occurs when a gentle person intends to serve only a certain select few, businesses, cronies, buddies, and not the populace!
FYI: personally, I think on a scale of 1-10 of Political Psychopaths, Ronald Reagan would be a 6 or 7: a Narcissist, conned by big business that courted and conned him. I think he actually had a weak and influencable ego: but the outcome was the same: others were sold out.
see the rating scales of Political Psycopaths in the articles in the cloud archive and in the books of Dr. Bunch at:
With Gaslighters all around us, everywhere in the world we must be students of:
1. self-checking humility:
2. what is propaganda and how is it used
3. how do we fall into the Gaslighter's cons, whether Nigeria or Nampa, Idaho?
4. what are your "critical thinking skills"? See how one critical thinker works, and just a teen:
Plaid Shirt Guy of Billings Montana
.
Please don't forget reviewing some great articles here on "entitlement" and White Male Privilege: see the cloud archive below.
And, after reading articles here, describe from these photos:
the development of personal MYTH in 2 paragraphs each:
What are the Gaslighter's:
views of women
views of Indigenous
views of Entitlement
views of white male entitlement
and bonus: what is the Personal Mythic View of the male "heroic, super human, rescuer, and grand views" of the the Gaslighters described in this article? (see the archive cloud below for definitions of personal MYTH development.
Ronald Reagan: was he different or the same as characters he played?
Ronald Reagan: was he different or the same as characters he played?
